A man flying British Airways is prevented from boarding a flight because his shirt has a picture of Optimus Prime holding a gun:
“Go through security, get pulled to the side. I’m wearing a French Connection Transformers t-shirt. Bloke starts joking with me is that Megatron. Then he explains that since Megatron is holding a gun, I’m not allowed to fly. WTF? It’s a 40 foot tall cartoon robot with a gun as an arm. There is no way this shirt is offensive in any way, and what I’m going to use the shirt to pretend I have a gun?”
“Now here’s the stupid part. I was only taking carry on luggage, so my clothes were in my bag, so I said I’d get changed. So I stripped off at security and changed t-shirts, putting the “offensive” t-shirt in my bag. Now I haven’t been a dick so far, I’ve done what they’ve said. No point in arguing with the drones.”
“The supervisor comes over and is now a dick to me, telling me if I put the shirt on I’ll be arrested. With hindsight I should have said, yeah arrest me, great publicity for you guys to arrest a bloke wearing a transformers t-shirt. “
- If they want to loan you money, tell them you just filed for bankruptcy and you could sure use some money. Ask, “How long can I keep it? Do I have to ever pay it back, or is it like the other money I borrowed before my bankruptcy?”
- If they start out with, “How are you today?” say, “Why do you want to know?” Or you can say, “I’m so glad you asked, because no one seems to care these days and I have all these problems, my sciatica is acting up, my eyelashes are sore, my dog just died…” When they try to get back to the sales process, just continue on with telling about your problems.
- If the person says he’s Joe Doe from the XYZ Company, ask him to spell his name, then ask him to spell the company name, then ask where it is located. Continue asking personal questions or questions about the company for as long as necessary.
- This one works better if you are male: Telemarketer: “Hi, my name is Judy and I’m with Canter and Siegel services… You: “Hang on a second.” (few seconds pause) “Okay, (in a really husky voice) what are you wearing?”
- Crying out, in well-simulated tones of pleasure and surprise, “Judy!! Is this really you? I can’t believe it! Judy, how have you BEEN?” Hopefully, this will give Judy a few brief moments of terror as she tries to figure out where the heck she could know you from.
- Say, “No,” over and over. Be sure to vary the sound of each no, and keep an even tempo even as they’re trying to speak. This is the most fun if you can keep going until they hang up.
- If MCI calls trying to get you to sign up with their Family and Friends plan, reply, in as sinister a voice as you can muster, “I don’t have any friends… would you be my friend?”
- If they clean rugs: “Can you get blood out, you can? Well, how about goat blood or HUMAN blood – chicken blood too?”
- Let the person go through their spiel, providing minimal but necessary feedback in the form of an occasional “Uh-huh, really, or, “That’s fascinating.” Finally, when they ask you to buy, ask them to marry you. They get all flustered, but just tell them you couldn’t give your credit card number to someone who’s a complete stranger.
- Tell them you work for the same company they work for. Example: Telemarketer: “This is Bill from Watertronics.” You: “Watertronics!! Hey I work for them too. Where are you calling from?” Telemarketer: “Uh, Dallas, Texas.” You: “Great, they have a group there too? How’s business/the weather? Too bad the company has a policy against selling to employees! Oh well, see ya.”
- Tell the Telemarketer you are busy and if they will give you their phone number you will call them back. If they say they are not allowed to give out their number, then ask them for their home number and tell them you will call them at home (this is usually the most effective method of getting rid of Telemarketers). If the person says, “Well, I don’t really want to get a call at home,” say, “Ya! Now you know how I feel.” (smiling, of course…)
Mansory Carbonado “Black Diamond” is a model based on the Lamborghini Aventador LP700-4 limited to just six specimens. Carbon as far as the eye can see: the ultra-light and ultra-strong material of carbon is already present in abundance in the standard version of the Lamborghini Aventador LP700-4.
In the Mansory Carbonado model, of which only six specimens are being manufactured, MANSORY continues to use the material consistently as the main component of all its bodywork elements. Each individual element of the MANSORY aerodynamic design is produced with perfect surface finish using the prepeg autoclave method and then built seamlessly into the car. And so the Aventador is transformed into the MANSORY CARBONADO, the most exclusive carbon compound found on the roads – the Black Diamond of the streets.
Lamborghini Aventador LP700-4
The 2013 Aventador LP 700-4 Roadster was announced for production in November 2012, equipped with the same V12 engine as the coupé version, Lamborghini claims again that it can reach 100 km/h (62 mph) in 2.9 seconds and a top speed equaling that of the coupe, at 349 km/h (217 mph).
The removable roof consists of two carbon fiber panels, weighing 6 kg (13 lb) each, which required the reinforcement of the rear pillar to compensate for the loss of structural integrity as well as to accommodate the rollover protection and ventilations systems for the engine. The panels are of easy removal and are stored in the front luggage compartment. The Aventador Roadster has a unique engine cover design and an attachable wind deflector to improve cabin airflow at high speed as well as a gloss black finish in the A-pillars, windshield header, roof panels, and rear window area. The car has a US$441,600 base price. With a total weight of 1,625 kg (3,580 lb) it’s only 50 kg (110 lb) heavier than the coupé (the weight of the roof, plus additional stiffening in the sills and A-pillars).